i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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