Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
