At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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