Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
