Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
