He had one of those small greek statue penises
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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