Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
My pussy is not your playground.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
