If i come over, it means nothing
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
where are you?
Hypothermia
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Randomize
