My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize