You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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