He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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