The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
