it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
