where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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