Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
