k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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