My nipple is on Facebook.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
