It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize