I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
