my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
