Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
