Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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