dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
