so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
