I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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