In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
