This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
