he puts the penis in happiness.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
