I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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