Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
