Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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