discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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