I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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