i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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