I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
