Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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