I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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