I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
