Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
