Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
