I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
