The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
