I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
