addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
