i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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