Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
