Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize