oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
