Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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