Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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