I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
this will be a night to untag.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
