I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
