i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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