i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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