just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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