nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize