I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
