Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
