oh god the rape fog is back!
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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