I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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