I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
