Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
