Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
