so explain again why im purple
no
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
