i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Randomize
