He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
