I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
