Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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