I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
